Month of Music Day 12 Caedmon's Call Table for Two 40 Acres Danny and I Spent another late night over pancakes Talkin' 'bout soccer And how every man's just the same. We made speculation On the who's and the when's of our futures And how everyone's lonely But still we just couldn't complain. [Chorus:] And how we just hate being alone. Could I have missed my only chance, And now I'm just wasting my time By lookin' around But ya know I know better, I'm not gonna worry 'bout nothin'. Cause if the birds and the flowers survive, Then I'll make it okay. I'm given a chance and a rock; see which one breaks a window. See which one keeps me up all night and into the day. [Chorus:] Because I'm so scared of being alone That I forget what house I live in. But it's not my job to wait by the phone For her to call. Well this day's been crazy But every-thing's happened on schedule, From the rain and the cold To the drink that I spilled on my shirt. 'Cause You knew how You'd save me Before I fell dead in the garden, And You knew this day Long before You made me out of dirt. [Chorus:] And You know the plans that You have for me And You can't plan the end and not plan the means And so I suppose I just need some peace, Just to get me to sleep

My Take:

It hit me at 12:45 this morning that there was no way I could make this decision easily. There are just too many good lyrics for this to be a quick decision. It's like a no-win situation. Pick one, and you've left so many others that are just as worthy. The real reason that this song is in here, is because of the conflict of Bus Driver, Faith My Eyes, and about 30 others. All I knew is that I had to get this band in here, somehow. It's not that Table for Two doesn't make me shut people up and turn up the radio...any Caedmon's Call song does that.

But I get turned around I mistake some happiness for blessing But I'm blessed as the poor Still I judge success by how I'm dressing Faith My Eyes

Actually, that's still how I am. These guys have such a wonderful of making such mundane things seem so important. In reality, that's really more how things work than I'd like to believe. I found this band in 1997, They were one of my favorite bands in...oh...1997. It was during the days when I could do no wrong and no right that I learned just how life hands out lemons for you to make into lemonade. Or, whisky sours. One of them. Shuffle in iTunes keeps betraying my choice, as I keep hearing the songs like Love Alone, Masquerade, and Valleys Fill First. It's the words that get me. The thoughtful lyrics, and the hopeful longing for things unseen, a time when we were all young, ready to follow the Master when he calls. It makes me think about rich people, those who are so important. They have great wealth, power, and influence. But they are recognized wherever they go. They aren't allowed to just blend in with us common folk.

I'm given a chance and a rock; see which one breaks a window. See which one keeps me up all night and into the day.

This is one of the blessings my Lord has given me, the anonymity of a pauper, with the power of a prophet. I am at once Saint and sinner, as I've often said. I am chock full of evil, a wolf in wolf's clothing. But a wolf who's gained a taste for vegetables. A wolf who's protective of the sheep. A wolf who denies the very easy temptation to do what would be so easy, to savour in the buffet that lies in my way. Somehow, this wolf goes hungry. Not that the wolf doesn't fail. He's woken with blood in his mouth more than once, betraying his own vow to protect those he was bred to destroy. For some reason, the Shepherd has seen that I am not trying to follow my nature, that I truly have love for the sheep, that I am more an ally that an enemy. The Shepherd forgives me for my crimes, for what reason I do not know - only thankful that He has. I'm better than the dogs, because I have no reason to be in the herd, other than to either protect or destroy. The other wolves see that, but the dogs don't; they just think I'm a traitor. The dogs. So proud of their jobs, They were bread in luxury, with loving masters, always ready to give them a home and purpose. A wolf's like is just a search for food after search for food. I have no home, so why the Shepherd lets me stay I'll never know. All I can do to repay Him is to stay vigilant, unlike the dogs...they can grow fat and slow and still have a home. I have no home.

Because I'm so scared of being alone That I forget what house I live in. But it's not my job to wait by the phone For her to call.

And so I've wandered the South, since the 90s. A wandering traveler, who's just been there for most of a decade. I have visions of playing guitar and singing in front of a youth group, or on tour, opening for Jars of Clay. It isn't like I don't have the talent or ability. It's that I have the amazing ability to see the dark cloud in every silver mine. You can count on me always to grip defeat out of the jaws of victory. It's vexing. I don't know why I can't see myself as a success. I can't take a compliment. I heard that if you don't know how to take a compliment, you'll stop getting them. I wonder if that's true.

Well this day's been crazy But everything's happened on schedule, From the rain and the cold To the drink that I spilled on my shirt.

Boy, I get contemplative at 3 in the morning. But that's where I keep landing, and here I am again. Finishing off another stellar weekend edition of the MofM. Jabbering with Alli on iChat, listening to all the songs that could've made the list. Wondering what it would be like to dance with Carree during Somewhere North. Or thinking about eating at Road Runner with Eric at 2 in the morning and getting the grease fries, getting over his sister. Going to the Waffle House and hitting on Pookie cause Brian drug me out there...again. Eating the best cheese sandwich in the whole Universe, just because Gina made it. At 2:55, I decided that I was going to do what I thought originally. I asked Alli which song I should do, since I was having such a hard time paring it down. That's when I decided I just had to use Table for Two. Of all the songs, this one's got too many good lines for a lonely loser such as myself. Now, I know what you're saying, "stop calling yourself a loser." Okay, I'm a winner...who never really wins. Sure do seem to loose a lot, though. So let me think I'm a loser, please. Unlike most people, I'm fine with it. Even if I never seem to win, that does not mean that I am not going to win in the future. So, I guess that I am a winner, I just haven't collected yet. But remember, as a Christian, none of us cash our chips till the house closes down. There's been times in my life that I just needed something in this life that everybody else has. Cars, stereo, girlfriend, Gulfstream IV. Just regular stuff. It's those regular things that evade me. God has placed in my path some incredible people, places, and things. I wonder if I'll be able to explain all the Amys and Dans. This is truly what life is about, and many of us are blessed with friends to stay up till 3 in the morning to talk about nothing. And in that, I've always been blessed by God.

'Cause You knew how You'd save me Before I fell dead in the garden, And You knew this day Long before You made me out of dirt.

And the ants are welcome company.

status: published
lastmod: '2006-10-30T21:07:03.000Z'
author: John Stansbury
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  similarterms: wolf knew things made people home reason morning make call house table life dogs stay song chance chorus loser time