Spoiler Alert! This is just to warn you. I will be giving out advanced notice of something that happens in a movie that you won’t know unless I tell you, or you see the movie. This week’s movie is Constantine. Good grief. From the official web site:

John Constantine has been to hell and back.* Born with a gift he didn’t want, the ability to clearly recognize the half-breed angels and demons that walk the earth in human skin, Constantine (KEANU REEVES) was driven to take his own life to escape the tormenting clarity of his vision. But he failed. Resuscitated against his will, he found himself cast back into the land of the living. Now, marked as an attempted suicide with a temporary lease on life, he patrols the earthly border between heaven and hell, hoping in vain to earn his way to salvation by sending the devil’s foot soldiers back to the depths. But Constantine is no saint. Disillusioned by the world around him and at odds with the one beyond, he’s a hard-drinking, hard-living bitter hero who scorns the very idea of heroism. Constantine will fight to save your soul but he doesn’t want your admiration or your thanks – and certainly not your sympathy. All he wants is a reprieve. When a desperate but skeptical police detective (RACHEL WEISZ as Angela Dodson) enlists his help in solving the mysterious death of her beloved twin sister (also played by Weisz), their investigation takes them through the world of demons and angels that exists just beneath the landscape of contemporary Los Angeles. Caught in a catastrophic series of otherworldly events, the two become inextricably involved and seek to find their own peace at whatever cost.

I guess they are going to keep putting these things out until we finally can’t take it no more! Honestly, these guys are going to kill me with these things…I’m serious. First that Van Helsing, then Heckboy, AvP…can we just make another Dracula, coincidentally also starring Keanu Reeves. No, that movie wasn’t the best movie ever, but it was a start. It took a movie, threw lots of dollars at it, and had a good story line, and wasn’t afraid to make it a little sexy. Had Dracula been made in 2002, do you think that there would be more vampires or more cgi? They did very well with Dracula with the restrictions of time and technology. But it’s 2005, and this recent wave of monster movies has all the feel and class of a 1970s kung-fu movie. Just because we can put a giant dragon in there means we should put a giant dragon in there. Bleh. But it seem that Hollywood thinks the only reason we go to see a movie is to see the fangs. So, here’s the spoiler: KEANU REEVES Have a great weekend, everybody! *Editor’s note: this was one of the funniest joke I ever heard Red Skelton tell. I like to think I’ll be able to pull off jokes like this when I’m that old.

status: published
author: John Stansbury
cms: wordpress
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