So, I've been hearing it all day, "John, we're dying to know your email policy! Why must you constantly keep us in the dark?"

So, being the benevolent dictator, from August 28, 2005:

• I will take any email sent to me as fodder for my most evil wishes
• I will twist your words to make it sound as silly as possible
• I will probably make up stuff to make me sound better, because almost 100% of my mail uses the words "loser," "chump," and "when are you moving out of your parent's basement."

But, knowing this is probably the deathnell of any email I'll ever get sent again, let me reassure you of these things:

• Your email address will never be sold to any third-party, unless it's for a lot of money
• I will keep anything marked "Confidential" as just that, "Confidential." All the people I will send it to will also have to make sure that it has "Confidential" written on it when they send it to people.
• Any correspondence with any employee of MacStansbury.com or any of its subsidiaries will be sent to the Big Kahuna himself, so don't be makin' fun of the boss, or there will be consequences and repercussions.

So, this is my email policy.*

*Our crack legal team told me that we have to point out that this is all just a joke, and that all real email in the real world is kept secret unless the author gives express consent. Stupid legal jerks - still have no idea why we keep them on retainer.

Oh, and there's the thing about if you get a newsletter or mailing, you can opt out of ever receiving another one again by simply telling MacStansbury.com in written or mailed form.

status: published
lastmod: '2006-12-14T21:24:53.000Z'
author: John Stansbury
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  similarterms: email make confidential policy words people send legal real sound kahuna subsidiaries makin boss consequences macstansbury employee retainer idea written