While on military duty, I pledged to keep the world updated on what Britney is doing with her life. At the time, she was unmarried and mildly sane. And completely 100% Onyx Hotel free.

So here’s the dirt to what the Britney has did this week:

1. Remember the Birmingham Barons story from last week? The one with the hat in Britney’s new video? Yea, that one. The one with the B. This story is about the orders they are getting from the hat’s appearence in the video. Gotta love that minor-league trickle-down economics.

2. Speaking of Britney Spears, did you know that she is gonna rake in a cool $30 million US Dollars on this Onyx Hotel Tour thing? Just look here or here or here. Pretty good for a simple girl from Louisianna with only an Academy degree.

3. India reports that our girl Britney is planning to buy out a casino! She also was spotted near, but not in, a plush Manchester bar, that she refused to drink at, since it is one of Justin Timberlake’s favorite haunts. Also, she has a new stalker.

Wait, I thought all the India stories were about dumb stuff. This is heavy. But it’s true. Even Canada is reporting on it, mainly since he’s a Canadian. And a caught Canadian.

And it gives me the opportunity to write "Quebec Concedes Crazed Canuk Caught for something starting with the letter C."

4. Onyx Tour Report: Till I get a week with no great stories, I’m giving this one it’s own special spot. This week is kinda funny, seeing as how she’s making money hand over fist and adding shows, the shows are getting the Milli Vanilli treatment for lip-syncing songs. "I don’t lipsynch," says Britney. Kids sign petition anyways. That is, when they aren’t being dragged out by their parents.

status: published
lastmod: '2006-11-17T06:11:09.000Z'
author: John Stansbury
cms: wordpress
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  similarterms: britney week quot onyx india canadian birmingham story tour girl video hotel caught shows stories quebec wait concedes crazed starting
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