9. "future plaintiff"

8. "paternity test"

7. "no word on the whereabouts of the victims pants, however"

6. "50 years of celibacy"

5. "mauled to death by the dozens of cats that lived there"

4. "tragedy befalls a shopper just browsing for adult undergarments"

3. "I didn't know turkeys couldn't fly"

2. "on the bright side, the flood water put out the house fire"

1. "Britney Spears' new husband"

status: published
lastmod: '2006-12-23T04:15:38.000Z'
author: John Stansbury
cms: wordpress
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