9. Be a woman.

8. Use pictures of women.

7. Get a bunch of people in here and make with the group blogging.

6. Insult people, and then get upset when they don't like me. (okay, I do that already, but it's yet to actually work. Here's hoping for miracles!

5. Pander to my audience (see note for #6).

4. More banners and sticker things than you can shake a stick at.*

3. Learn to write insightful commentary, using research, statistics, and persuasive arguments to...nah...maybe more girly pictures...

2. Blackmail. You know who you are. Blackmail.

1. Get a haircut, a job, and leave all this blogging business to the professionals.

*****My Stick-Shaking Department has informed me that they have been able to successfully shake a stick at our selection of banners, and suggest rewording my statement, or adding more banners.

status: published
lastmod: '2006-11-11T22:20:45.000Z'
author: John Stansbury
cms: wordpress
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  similarterms: banners stick shake things blackmail blogging make people pictures professionals arguments business haircut leave girly informed statement adding famouser blogger