Even Viagra Won't Help

Sadly, this is more true than you would expect. I've become more online than offline.

Blogging is a chore, not a lifestyle. It's amazing how there's some people who can make a living at this. Those people also sell books, or have video blogs, or have that talent you always hear about. Sadly, I'm not one of those people.

So, too, with relationships. Now, before you think that I'm going all bad-mouthy on myself, I'm being informational here. Through the many relationships I've had, they've always seemed to end long before they should. For whatever reason, I've never found Mrs. Right.

Ms. Right Now, sure, but not the one. That - magical one - the one that sets my life on fire - the one with whom I want to spend my life - the one I have these Shatner-like pauses - for - -...that girl. Or, maybe I have, and she hasn't got the frying pan embedded deeply enough into my skull to get through to inform me that she is not completely disgusted by my appearance. Something like that.

The reason I even post this, is because I was going through some old links of a blog-buddy of mine, from a while ago. She (it's always about a girl, isn't it?) hadn't changed a bit, smart, funny, teh hawtt, and worlds away. She was, and is, just a blog friend.

About two years ago, I stated, bluntly, that I was not a blogger. I guess I am sort of one now. Not a very good one, not one who comes up with either wit or charm, depth or reason with every post. But I do have soul, emotion, and honesty. If there's anything you can say about me, it's that I'm honest. It is that honestly that compels me to tell people the truth, regardless of what they'll think of me.

Sometimes that's not what keeps the relationship going. Sometimes it ends the relationship. I once started a manuscript for a book I titled, "How To Burn Bridges, and Build Them Back Better Again." Like many other things in my life, it never got finished.

The point of the book was that there are just fundamental splits in relationships. There's a reason why sex after marriage is a good thing: it's tough finding out you can't stand the guy you're forced to marry because you two couldn't find a jimmy hat behind the minibar. People can just be incompatible, even after that initial sexumal attractimation shtuff is over.

For whatever reason, I do very well with the ladies. Like, way out-of-my-league well with the ladies. I've no comprehension for how this happens, but I'm sure glad it does. Well, to be honest, I have great luck with the ladies for a little while, then they move on. It's the thing I've never understood.

That's what happened. That's not all that happened, but it's all you need to know. My point being, the women move on from me, almost always for the better.

I've been thinking about this a lot this weekend, and into the week. Growing as a person, I think I'm finally getting to the point where I can start those reconstruction projects. Not that I think the first one will succeed, it will be started.

Here's to hoping it's something that I finish.

status: published
lastmod: '2006-11-11T22:25:39.000Z'
author: John Stansbury
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