While fighting against evil, I pledged to keep the world updated on what Britney is doing with her life. At the time, she was unmarried and mildly sane. And completely 100% Onyx Hotel free. Except for the weekly feature about the Onyx Hotel.

So here’s the a look at Britney this week:

1. Avril Lavigne allegedly told BBC Radio that Britney "dresses like a showgirl." Lavigne also intimated that Spears dances "like a ho."

In other news, teenage boys no longer enjoy showgirls who dance like prostitutes. More on this breaking story at 11.

2. Now, this is going to get a little confusing, but in the interest of decency, I’ve got to be a bit obtuse.

You see, there’s these pictures that aren’t really of her. It’s just some lady that looks like her that isn’t really her. Then there’s a real picture of her, but its been Photoshoped so that it ain’t her any more.

Now don’t go looking around this story for no links, cause though I may be all about information, I ain’t about filth. Find the links yourself.

3. India reports that no less than Carson Daly has said publicly that he wants to help. But, do you think that she would take him up on his offer? Do you think that she would listen to MTV’s most popular VJ in years?

Noooooooooooooo, she’s too busy with her new stupid, ugly, dumb boyfriend. That jerk.

4. Onyx Tour Report: Britney has cancelled the Far East leg of her tour cause she’s sleepy. No, seriously!

Seems she was working so hard on tour that she hasn’t had time to heal from injuries (she plays hurt) or learn to sing. Yea, I said it. So what. It’s not cause I’m bitter that she has new boyfriend that isn’t named John Stansbury.

status: published
lastmod: '2006-11-17T06:04:16.000Z'
author: John Stansbury
cms: wordpress
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  similarterms: britney quot onyx tour plays lavigne hotel story hurt boyfriend links time offer publicly busy popular years noooooooooooooo listen reports